The track of the Freedom in Darwin

Here, in the hostel in Darwin, i found a lot of Italians, for the first time since my leaving. I had a fever for some days, but it’s just a raison more to not doing too much. We made a community in the community, and it’s a holiday in the holiday. It’s warm, there is no one cloud, we breathe under the palms and the fans. The Sea wouldn’t be bad, here there are no crocodiles but there is some risk of jellyfish, deadly ones.

Voices of old friends come from Italy and give me the opportunity of thinking and writing about Freedom. I’ve a reverential fear in front at this word, I feel so ignorant and kid, not able to speaking about. Also, hearing different languages, I’m familiar to the relativity of the meaning of every word. But I’m not here to write an essay or to teach something to someone. I like the idea of sharing humility my thoughts and seeking, together, a more true truth. I’ll try to look at freedom as a diamond of different sides.

I am convinced that there is a close connection between freedom and truth, so close that sometimes I seem to coincide.

And The Truth, in fact, that will make you free.(Gv 8,32)

I know that I don’t know, i don’t have a complete and global knowledge; I accept that another has an opinion, a culture, a way of doing different from mine, I don’t judge and agree to question all my ideas, safety, ways to do. I retain as true only what they are really sure. I’m accurate in reporting to my sources, in the words, in the reporting of my experiences as they really happened.

On the other hand, being free also means to wonder why, how and what and not to accept uncritically everything that someone told.

In summary, I would say that being free is to have a humble, open, critical and never final approach to the truth of things, which is similar to the Socratic approach.

But if I have to think of a free person, I think to Nelson Mandela. How many years spent in prison fighting apartheid in South Africa? You can put chains on my wrists, shut in a cage, starve, kill my body but you can’t imprison my spirit, lock my thoughts.

I think to Gandhi, the salt march, thousands of people peacefully in line to receive the blows of the soldiers, other years in prison, a great nation released only with a non-violent actions. I have my own idea and not hide it, even if it hurts you, even if it hurts me. Being free means having the courage to bring their own truth, and be prepared to suffer the consequences.

Then there is the aspect that concerns all the dependencies, drugs, alcohol, sex, emotional dependency, craving for success, television. There's the part about the acceptance of the reality, of the pain. There's the part about listening, get in touch deeply with themselves. Being free means having the courage to look in the mirror without telling lies, recognize what I can’t do without it, recognize what scares me and, above all, recognize what are my true desires (not those of my parents, friends, girlfriends , teachers, society). It’s recognizing that me and just me I am the only responsible for my life, my happiness, my choices.

And put in place. Patiently, with confidence and compassion.

As Seneca says, and Simone Perotti as well,

there is no good wind for the sailor who doesn’t know where to go.

Being free means to speak the truth with ruthless sweetness.

This is the outline of the complex trace of freedom that I am following. Essentially, I would say that to me is composed of two main parts: doing truth, constantly, in and around me, acquiring true knowledge; uncovering this truth, having the courage to live it day by day.

I try to talk about it in the post I write, leaving digital breadcrumbs on my path. If it can be a starting point for someone else, well, if I write nonsense, sooner or later I will notice me. Probably it not emerge as trying to follow this track always puts me in a crisis, how many times I wonder what the hell I'm doing, if I'm wasting time, opportunity, what I want for myself, what is telling me my body and my life. For a moment it's panic, as if I was playing poker all I have and I was losing the game.

I know this is an old trap, the fear, the anxiety of having to do, wanting to be, to achieve the objectives. I’ll never be free ?

I'm not cool as Simone Perotti. I lack discipline, clarity, patience. I feel the risk that the gap becomes indifference. Often I risk to believe who he knows and, therefore, I don't leave space. I feel the risk to strive eagerly to an unreachable idea of myself. I feel that I'll have how much more I’ll dare. I feel that there are a lot of traps, temptations, swamps, crocodiles ready to bite the legs when you go to drink from the River. It’s dangerous.

But I also feel that, simply, that's life. On the road, people do elbows to give you a hand if I smile and I tend my own, I have experienced.

I breath. I restart from this, from my present. I am convinced that the most important thing is to keep my peace. That doesn’t mean putting our heads in the sand. It means having confidence in life, whatever it is. I have the tools to do it, so I will restart from this latest crisis to try to get back to my Peace.

I think, I hope, that one day I’ll look back and I’ll remember these moments, and I’ll regret that I have not enjoyed to the full view of the open sea of Freedom. But it is only because I can find true freedom inside, not outside of me.

Don’t run away in search of freedom when your biggest prison is within you. (Jim Morrison)

It is not worth having freedom if it does not imply to have the freedom to make mistakes. (Gandhi)